maneesh.co.in

Customer care in 2020

Posted by maneesh On December - 20 - 2010

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610 "

Operator: "OK... you' re... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir? "

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: "We are connected to the system Sir "

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza... "

Operator: "That' s not a good idea Sir"

Customer: " How come?"

Operator: " According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it "

Customer: "How do you know for sure? "

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir "

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost? "

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99 "

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card? "

Operator: "I 'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last year. That 's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you 've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas; I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway? "

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can 't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: "What!

Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised? "

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you 're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...? "